Da Vinci Code novelist Dan Brown has asked the writers of Holy Blood, Holy Grail whether they have any other far-fetched conspiracy theories that could be used for the sequel to his best-selling novel. “I’m looking for something involving the pyramids, the Masons, and the UN, but I’ll rip off any half-baked conspiracy theory I can find,” Brown said. “Obviously.”
“All I’ve got at the moment is a plot where a novelist copies someone else’s idea about a secret society that he involves Leonardo Da Vinci, but was actually made up by an insane French megalomaniac in the 1950s, as he’d have discovered if he’d done more of his own research” he said. “But that’s too far-fetched even for my fans.”
The writers behind the non-fiction book Holy Blood, Holy Grail, Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh, have also decided to sue the author for defamation. “His use of our work has made people think it was absurdly implausible enough to form the basis for a Dan Brown novel,” Baigent said. “We will never recover from this slur on our reputation.” Leigh agreed. “Mark our words, Brown is part of a sinister plot involving the CIA, Galileo, the Lions Club, L. Ron Hubbard and Stonehenge,” he said. “And he’d better not be writing this down.”
But Brown is confident that his name will ultimately be cleared. “We have an extremely strong case,” he said. “I told my lawyers to copy it all from John Grisham’s latest book.” There is also a chance that the trial will have to be called off entirely because the court officers have as yet been unable to find a single juror who hasn’t read The Da Vinci Code. Brown’s lawyers insist that anyone who has done so will be heavily biased against their client.