“I can change” says guy who slammed Albo for changing too much

The Prime Minister has today pledged that he will become a new man if elected, presumably in about three weeks after he is rolled and replaced by Peter Dutton.

“I know things have to change with the way I do things,” explained the man who put his opponent on blast two weeks ago for changing. “Rest assured if elected I will be completely different, except for my views on a federal ICAC, coal, and politicising kids sports. Otherwise I will be completely different.”

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Asked why it was bad for Albanese to change two weeks ago, but good for Morrison to do so now, The Prime Minister said that he was a different person when he made those comments. “Obviously I’ve undergone a lot of personal growth in that time,” explained Morrison. “Unlike Albanese who hasn’t changed in those two weeks. Can you really trust a guy like that?”

The Chaser