Former Prime Minister John Howard found out this afternoon that Scott Morrison is the Prime Minister, after he attended a campaign meet-and-greet with Wentworth candidate for the Liberal Party David Sharma.

“What the actual fuck,” said the former Prime Minister. “That guy? I would have thought he’d be relegated to Minister for Sport by now. Or maybe something even more irrelevant, like Health or Environment.”

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Mr Howard said that at least it explained “why the fuck” Wentworth was in trouble for the Liberal Party. He said he’d put $200 on Kerryn Phelps at $1.70. “But don’t tell Janette.”