Turnbull seeking refund on donation to Liberal Party

Malcolm Turnbull has tonight requested a full refund on the $1 million donation he made to the Liberal Party shortly before the last election. 

“I’m disappointed with how little influence I was able to buy. If a coal miner had written that sort of cheque, we would have stripped billions of dollars off their tax bill. Instead, I keep getting attacked by some sort of strange lifeless potato. It’s just poor form.”

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Turnbull told reporters that he would consider trying to buy another party, should his refund be successful. 

“The ALP has been known to re-elect bitter, washed up, ex-Prime Ministers who didn’t get to serve a full term. I wonder if they’d try again with me?”

“But after the experience of the past three years, being completely powerless, lacking any influence and being irrelevant to all major policy decisions, I suspect I should probably just join The Greens.”

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